We welcomed the arrival of our newest nephew Max in April of this year. For me personally, there is always a feeling of joy combined with utter sadness. I was never able to have children with my husband Jesse so even though we celebrate with great jubilation, we also privately grieve the life we could never have for ourselves.
Max’s birth wasn’t quite as hard on us as was the birth of our first nephew Charlie. Charlie is my little buddy and golden boy. I had the privilege and pure exhaustion of being his babysitter for the first three years of his life. I was hoping to repeat the pattern with Max but with moving my dad in with us and everything that comes along with that, it started to become evident that I would not be able to do it all the same way again. The realization of this of course made me sad and fearful that I wouldn’t have a chance to bond with Max in the same way as I did with his brother. Time will tell on this one and I am going to do my best to involve myself as much as possible into his life. The good news is that my mother in law has taken on the role of nanny for Max and she lives three blocks from us.
Writing this post makes it clear that I need to take more pictures of Max. I don’t want him to feel slighted that there aren’t as many photos of him as there are of his brother. I have a personal goal this week to do at least one set of photos of Max.