Family

The Cradduck Family – Marian Bear Memorial Park, San Diego Family Photography

My dad and I just got back from a walk and he’s now fast asleep. I was thinking how hopeless I feel these days as I watch the dad I know slip away into most certain uncertainty. It made me feel very far away from the person who loves photography and loves her job and it made me wonder if parents have a somewhat similar feeling when raising children. For obvious reasons, I know caring for a parent and caring for a child isn’t quite the same but I imagine there are some similarities. Andrea and Jon are first time parents to a beautiful boy and as I looked back through these images I wondered if they have days of struggle. To look at the three of them in this perfect setting, they are beautiful but even behind beauty there must be some difficulty. Or maybe all those jokes comedians make about beautiful people are true! They’re just cruising through life! I guess I’m feeling a bit reflective today but honestly this is the one thing I think about most of all. Am I struggling in ways similar to a parent and if I am, how do I keep going? I know this sounds depressing and I promise you I’m okay. Caring for my dad just brings me to deep thought sometimes and it also brings me to go deep into a bottle of wine. That’s my favorite part, the wine! Don’t worry I’m not a drunk and I won’t be showcasing any daredevil moves on top of a bridge. Just putting it out there to see if I get any feedback. Although, who am I kidding?! I’m really not even sure anybody reads this blog! But just in case they do, I would like to put it out there that the Target box wine is pretty delicious and I would be happy to be paid to tell everyone how much I love it. I know, box wine, sounds kind of hillbilly. Wine has evolved so much over the years and now you can just buy it in a cardboard box and keep it protected in it’s own plastic bladder! Doesn’t that sound elegant?!! I’ve gone off course with this post. You see what wine does to me?! Even talking about it lifts my mood which brings me to my point. The day I meet with this family was quite…

Okay, okay I’m a little biased with this session because Katie is one of my closest friends and I love her family. I love everything about them. I love her husband’s big heart and crankiness or as we like to call it, his frumpiness. I love their boys and their sweet tender nature and most of all I love Katie and all her grace. I also feel like this shoot was magical because the light gave us some deep, dark tones. I love a little drama in my photos. I’m not going to say too much about this session because I feel like the work speaks for itself. All I can say is that I was overwhelmed with happiness with how well this session went. It was just one of those days where I was fueled to get back home and onto my computer to see all of the images. I always try and give my clients same day previews and I always have a goal of a 24-48 hour turn around with their final gallery. I think I woke up the next day after this one and finished the pics before I even made myself coffee. My heart is filled with love for these four people. I care for them so much and it warms my heart to know their boys are comfortable around me. Not having children of my own can be a bummer at times but getting some kind of recognition from my friend’s kids means that I am making an impact. I honestly wish I played a bigger part in their lives but I’ve got my hands full over here so hopefully I will keep connecting with them as they grow.

The Narayan’s came to me through an awesome referral from one of my best clients. I was delighted to see such a beautiful family when I finally showed up at their front door. My first thoughts when communicating with mom was perhaps they had a less than stellar experience with photographers in the past. I felt we needed to form some trust with one another and I hope I was able to deliver. The first thing I loved upon walking into their home was being asked to take off my shoes. I was thrilled and made a joke about living my life in bare feet because I do. I never have shoes on at home even when our house is freezing like right now! Mom and dad wanted to spend time at home for this session and as the time passed I could see everyone relaxing a little more. I hope to work with these four again in the future. Time will tell and I will certainly be happy if they call on me again.

I’m not going to lie and say this was the easiest session but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun. I love a good challenge and kids will give you the chance every time to prove that you can buckle down and do the work. The thing about this session that sticks out to me was that I could see the frustration on mom and dad’s face because their little one had her own agenda that morning. It’s hard in those moments to comfort parents and let them know it’s all good and even though it may feel chaotic that I promise we are getting good stuff. When I say this little had an agenda that is an understatement! I was pulling out all my best “tricks” and she was calling my bluff at every turn. At times I was laughing along with her because she was totally hilarious. So even though we didn’t get too much of the traditional I think we ended up getting some really fun stuff. This is an important post for all families to read because it embodies the message I am always trying to get across to my clients. Throw away the idea of what you think is going to happen and let’s all step into the unknown. Children are an adventure and we never know where they will lead us. The best part about all of this is when I sent previews to mom she was filled with relief in knowing that we had gotten so much more than she expected. It made it all worthwhile.

There is so much love in this family. I feel it every time I see them and they have no problem showing it. I have been working with Jennifer and James since before they married back in 2012. They have always shown me so much respect and gratitude so when they got in touch last fall to do a session I was thrilled. I hadn’t seen them since 2015 and three years does a lot when you have growing children. Nothing has changed for them. They are still very much in love and the kids are just wonderful. We went to a favorite spot of theirs near their home in Chula Vista. Just a simple trail with gorgeous light at sunset. I was happy to find they brought their dogs along. Two rambunctious fur balls of fun! I have a soft spot for dogs having two of my own. I’m seriously lagging on my blog. I am shockingly behind so my goal is to play catch up and share the rest of the wonderful families I’ve been working with through the end of 2018.

This family came to me as a referral from a very close friend of mine who is also of friend of theirs and now I want to be best friends with this mom! She speaks my language and has an incredible sense of humor. I can not say enough good things about this beautiful little family of hers. I’ll admit that I was a bit worried about this session because when I arrived in Ocean Beach the gorgeous sun that was shining in my world here in North Park was nowhere to be found down there. It looked like something out that Stephen King movie The Mist. I immediately started stressing out about how much actual light we would have since the fog was pretty thick. It didn’t help that this was a new client so of course my mind starting racing about everything that could go wrong which meant that my stomach was in knots. Why do I do this to myself before every session? I mean I know that it’s going to be okay in the end. But hey that’s just me. I’m easily twisted up about nothing major. Once I was set into motion there was nothing for me to worry about. They were game for anything and made my job easy. The mist turned out to be our friend that day and I used it to my advantage. There is one shot in particular that I truly love and every time I see it, I think dang, I love this one!! Just to keep you from guessing, I’ve used it as the feature photo for this particular blog entry. I wish I could say I learned a lesson for how to stay calm before a session but alas I know my stomach will continue to do flip flops on me before every shoot and my fears will magically disappear once I start working. So if you’re reading this and ever hire me, now you know I was freaking out just mere moments before you’re smiling face appeared before me.

I want to share with you this session because if you were to ever see this mom’s Instagram you would immediately become jealous because everything they do with their kids looks as if they are having the most fun possible. And to be clear, I don’t think it just looks like they are having fun, I believe they are actually having fun! But that’s why it’s important to share this session because this session was absolutely the case of the day nothing went the way mom or dad would have hoped. The Evans family is an all time favorite for me because they goof around so much and laugh at themselves while taking photos. It’s honestly the best to see people not taking life too seriously. And let’s face it, I’m not saving lives here. I’m just a photographer! But alas, this day was the day that we all felt like our hands were tied to get the kids to do anything we wanted. So instead mom and dad put on a big smile and just sort of laughed their way through it and made the best of what could have been a very frustrating situation. Now this certainly doesn’t mean we didn’t have fun and it doesn’t reflect poorly on the parents because anyone that has kids or spends any amount of time with kids knows that sometimes despite your greatest efforts those tiny precious treasures are going to do exactly what they want and damn the photos! Take not future clients, you’re not perfect, your children aren’t perfect but regardless of what happens behind the scenes we can still really make some magic. I think this post is fitting because if you read my last post, I was very downtrodden about my own family. How quickly my mindset changes when it’s my job to create something beautiful out of the chaos instead of being in the eye of the storm. I’m only human and capable of many emotions. I think it’s also my right as a female to feel all the things and then write about it on my blog for all to read.

I’m more than just a little behind on my blogging. Every since just after Thanksgiving life has been a little full. My mom came in town for a long visit through the holidays and she actually just left yesterday. Her visit was twofold as we needed her to help with my dad while Jesse and I took a little respite in Vegas for a few days. We also wanted her here so she could take advantage of spending time with the grandkids and spending the holidays together as a family. Boy I really overestimated my family once again and how “fun” it would actually be. Is anyone’s family actually fun when the time rolls around to get together? I feel like with my family the idea is always more alluring than the reality. There are fleeting moments of happiness when we are all together but I find that it feels more trying than I had originally envisioned. Perhaps part of the blame is placed on me because I photograph these seemingly perfect moments between all of these families and think that somehow they are less complicated than my own. The realistic side of me knows that no family is perfect but the idealistic side of me is always left wanting more. I like to live vicariously through my clients and imagine that life is always full of more smiles than frowns. Looking back on the photos I did of the Hamada family leaves me hoping that perhaps the experience was a memorable one and they will be able to look back on it fondly in the future. Truthfully that is my only hope with photographing families. I hope that I create a positive photo experience and that one day they will all look back and laugh and all the stress of whatever happened behind the scenes will evaporate.

I was thinking about the idea of perfection in terms of family photography. I remember when I first dipped my toes into the waters of family sessions oh so many years ago, I thought my job was to capture the perfect still of a family. You know, the one where mom, dad and kids are all perfectly posed smiling straight at the camera as if perfection is their last name. I soon learned that particular pose while beloved by most families is one of the most difficult poses to achieve. I also learned that spending most of my time during a session trying to get everyone i.e. the kids to sit still was my least favorite thing to do and so I put family photos in the category of something I was not interested in shooting. Over time I kept coming back to families and developed what I now consider the beautiful chaos of family life. In adjusting my shooting style I also adjusted my perspective on family photography. I love it now and it is very near and dear to my heart. I love the challenge of a cranky or uncooperative kid, the goofiness of family interaction and the opportunity to create something new. I strive for genuine real emotion and connection. I try to help mom and dad see that even though the children might not be doing what they see as their vision and instead understand that we are creating the view of what it is really like to be a family. Parenting is never what anyone thought it would be so why should the photos be any different, am I right?! Having said all this, the Shaw family has one of the most awesome little boys. He is kind, sweet and always camera ready so the line between perfection and chaos is very small. Mom and dad both love the experience of photos which is always much appreciated on my end and dad is always down to goof around. It’s pretty much my idea of fun when working. Plus we did this session in Balboa Park so I got to my ride my scooter to the shoot. I mean come on, is this a dream job or what?!

I was thinking this morning about travel and how when I was younger I wanted to travel any and everywhere for work as much as possible. I still love to travel for work but now I find as I age, I am more selective and my desire to combine work and travel has waned. I have shifted into wanting to travel for pleasure and time away. Of course I do make exceptions for clients I love and once in a lifetime occasions to shoot in places like Santorini. The Kugler family fall into that category of clients I love and it has become our unspoken agreement to trade off every year photographing in San Diego and Orange County. This was a San Diego year and knowing how much this family loves outdoors and nature settings we chose Marian Bear Park for an early morning session. I like to joke that I am a “lazy” photographer and will utilize a small area of space to create a variety of images. Truthfully, certain locations can be daunting with children in tow and I like to keep thing easy on everyone. Marian Bear is a gorgeous spot that can mean hiking in and discovering a beautiful clearing but then again offering up a hike to clients in their nice clothes isn’t always the perfect fit. My joke this year was that this family made that parking lot look good! Now that I’ve divulged all my secrets, tell me what you think! I just love this family and it’s a gift every time they call me up for another session.