Diary

The Pederson Family – San Diego & Escondido Newborn & Family Photography

I have been making the joke that Jessie is a unicorn. Her pregnancy story could be a movie. She became pregnant not long after they started trying and when her labor began she didn’t even know it. She was actually at a party with her husband and friends while she was unknowingly in labor. The best part of their story is that she had to drive herself to the hospital that same night since the hubs had a few at the party and couldn’t drive. Can’t you just see this in a movie?! I met Jimmy and Jessie when they were still living in and around North Park. We belong to the same local winery and my Jesse and I would run into them from time to time. Side note, Jessie was a former intern of my Jesse at the county. I was surprised to learn that these two had not only moved out of the neighborhood but that they had also had a baby. How quickly things change! Like most newborn sessions, we kept it easy at home and worked out around the baby’s schedule. It was raining that morning but stopped long enough for us to go outside for a few pics. Do you see a theme going on around here lately? Rain and clouds go away!

I am just getting this post in before Pride month is over. Jesse and I fly our Pride flag proudly every year in support of friends, family, loved ones and all of those we have yet to meet. We believe in a world that is inclusive and welcoming so you can imagine my excitement when my friend Amanda, amazing coordinator at Sassy Little Bee, referred these lovely ladies to me. I knew from our first meeting that I wanted to work with them. We made snide remarks about the poor treatment we received at a coffee shop that will remain anonymous and I found them to be kindred spirits on the topics of hot flashes, menopause & scooters. My claim to fame is that I had the unfortunate luck of going through menopause in my 30’s so now I make jokes that I can guide all newcomers to this “condition” known as being woman. Needless to say, I loved them from the start and was elated to be chosen as their photographer. They wanted to keep their session simple so they opted to stay close to home and have photos taken at their local park as well as at home with all their fur babies. And of course, we featured them on one of their super rad Vespa scooters! I am so honored to be part of this big day coming up in September. I know it will be just as easy and full of smiles as their engagement session.

The days have been gray around here lately. June gloom is lingering this year. I find the sunshine really does enhance my mood and all this cloudiness is really bringing me down. My dad has started doing weirder things because of his dementia. Most recently he’s been throwing his daily pills into his glass of water so you have to monitor his every move from the moment you hand over his meds. I’m finding myself without any patience and wanting to get away from him. Working helps bring me up but the dark cloud hangs over me as soon as I walk in the door. It’s a bad week this week and I’m not sure how to move through this funk. I am really hoping for a miracle and that somehow a room in assisted living will open and we can move on to the next chapter. Not quite the intro one would expect to introduce this fun and sweet family session but as I have made a promise to myself to bring a little more of myself into this blog, it is what it is. My take away from this post is that I am lucky to have repeat clients. Clients that force me to work and to forget even if for a short while that this thing I have taken on isn’t the end of the world. These are the clients that remind me that I am still my own person and that I do have more to give outside of all this stuff with my dad. Thank goodness for these people.

I am a huge fan of Rachel and Andrew’s little family of four. They are incredible to work with because of they way they allow things to unfold. Goofy faces and laughter have been a huge part of our sessions these last few years. They upped the ante back in April when I photographed them and their respective families. I’m a huge ding dong when it comes to directions so when Rachel’s dad said he wanted to meet at a spot near PetCo Park, I was sure I knew exactly where he meant. So I told the family to meet me outside of the restaurant that directly faced the area I thought they were referring to and once they all arrived I immediately learned that my location was not their intended location. This family rolled with it. We started shooting right away just inside of PetCo and then they all happily made the trek to the other side of the stadium to get to the bridge they all wanted to shoot at and then down the stairs past the bridge to the grassy area where Andrew and Rachel had done their wedding photos. This family is amazing. Thank you for your smiles. Thank you for your trust and thank you for not killing me when we all had to walk to a second location. Thank goodness for that amazing sunset!

The sun is out today and I always find it easier to get through the days with my dad. We’ve had more overcast days here lately than usual and it’s feels like I’m moving through mud when the sun doesn’t shine. I consider today to be a pretty good day. Nothing crazy going on but I got the chance to go to my barre class this morning, acupuncture for myself and my dad, dog park and ride on the scooter with my dad in tow to get a few errands checked off the list. Now that my afternoon is free I thought I might take the time to play blog catch up again. This family came to me through a referral. I share a mutual friend with Lisa, she was my point of contact for the session and she shared with me her excitement for all her family visiting from Chicago. The only thing I knew was that I would be photographing a group of 13 and that they had rented a place in Rancho Santa Fe that could accommodate everyone. What I didn’t know is that I would be meeting a group of people full of life, love, energy and a willingness to allow me to photograph them. I also didn’t know that the Airbnb they had booked was amazing! We started with the whole group and gave priority to the grandparents so they could sit back and relax during the rest of my time shooting. I could tell at the beginning of the shoot that the family shared a little concern for getting all the shots they wanted. This happens a lot with big groups. I get it. They don’t all know me and it’s hard to see how one person is going to suffice with all their requests. Not to mention they have no idea where my head is at and what I am planning on doing. I always go into every shoot knowing that I will get the “safe” shots and the happy smile at the camera photos. While these are not the most fun for me to take, they are always crowd pleasers. The exciting part for me comes when I get home and can send same day previews to the family. This is when they realize my whole vision and that perhaps they light up when they can actually see some of the more…

As my dad continues to progress with his dementia, I find my time is divided more than ever. The delicate balance between caring for him, work and making sure I still maintain some sort of social life is a juggle. The times I am working always bring me back to myself and I remember how grateful I am to be able to do this job. This job has also brought new friends to me and that includes Rob and Julianne. I first met them when I second shoot their wedding just about forever ago. They were referred to me by their wedding photographer, also a friend of mine, when they were pregnant with their first son. Over the years I have photographed them more than once as a growing family and over this time we have gotten to know one another and really enjoy each other’s company. We don’t get to see one another as often as we would like but the time is always well spent. Rob’s nerdy sense of humor always makes me giggle and Julianne has compassion and understanding for all things family related. She and I share much in common when it comes to our family dynamics. It’s nice to know this amazing family is in our lives. Again, I am behind in my blogging as this session was done back in February at the height of our rainy season. The rain proved to bring a ton of gorgeous green our way for a short time and as you can see from this photos, it was just starting to bloom and cast color over our normally brown landscape. Although I do love our sunny days, I relished in all the green around me this year.

Ever since my dad moved in I’ve been wondering what will happen to me, to him, to my life with my husband and beyond. Some days I get very sad about all of it. I’m sad because my dad’s health is in decline and because getting older is tough. I’m sad because instead of delighting in raising a family of my own, I am steadfast with my father knowing that one day will be our goodbye. I’m sad because while I live in this small world of everyday activities and errands, I have friends who I never see and friends who never call on me just to ask me how I’m doing. They all have excuses not to reach out because they all have families of their own but I guess that doesn’t necessarily make it okay. It’s just the way it is. I get bummed out about the whole thing and then other days it doesn’t bother me a bit. I tell myself it’s fine because I have everything I need right here. I have my husband, my dad, our dogs, my daily routine, my work and I even have my dad’s cat here to fill my time. Those days are the easy days for me. I wish for those days every time my head starts to hurt and my neck and shoulders tense up from stress. My husband and I were always the ones reaching out to plan get togethers with friends and family but I have reached the point of exhaustion and I no longer care to here the word no more often than not when we do try to plan something. I miss all the things about being surrounded by everyone I know and love. I miss knowing that I could call a friend at a moment’s notice and swing by to say hello. I even feel angry sometimes that all my friends with families of their own seem to forget that there will always be a pang of sadness inside me when I see them with their families. I am not writing all of this stuff to bum anyone out. My words are only musings that form in the in between moments of the day when the world gets quiet and I start to think too much. My inner self is a worrier. My outer self is a dynamic goof ball hell bent on having…

I am a dog person through and through. I have had a dog in my life since I was very young and even after the heartbreak of losing our Rusty and Sophie, we continue to have dogs in our lives. After Sophie died I resolved to just have one dog, one very weird dog we named Griffey which was very hard to accept in some ways. Griffey is sweet and he does have a gentleness to him but we surmise he was abused quite a bit living on the streets in Baja and unfortunately he is filled with anxiety in most situations outside our home. A hard pill to swallow when our two previous dogs followed us around the house, slept next to us on the couch as we watched tv and always greeted guests at our front door with a tail wag. I could do a whole blog about all of Griffey’s quirks but you get the idea. We were down in Baja back in January at Pretty Horses Ranch just south of Rosarito. I knew the owner, our friend Krystal had rescued a few puppies just before Christmas and other than seeing photos of them online and thinking they were totally cute, I didn’t think much of adopting one. That is until we were there and I saw them. By the time we came for a visit there was only one left up for adoption and she was the runt of the litter. Brave, adorable and loving with a big, fat puppy belly and then I held her and she fell asleep in my arms. I remembered what it was like to hold Rusty when he was just a little guy and how I used to carry him around on my arm everywhere. It made me think about Sophie and how she would do her groans as she got comfortable snuggled up next to you. I thought about Griffey and how even though I love him for the good dog he is that I also needed a sweet snuggle puppy in my life. I held her in my arms and squealed to Jesse that I wanted to take her home. All the while in the back of my mind wondering if it would be a big mistake. Jesse is always great. He was in from the moment I said I wanted her but he also knows me and…

Look who is finally blogging sessions for the year of 2019! I wanted to start off my 2019 work with this adorable couple and their engagement session. So here’s the quick backstory: Jerleen found me through a good friend who just also happened to be an intern working with my husband years ago. We would occasionally run into said friend and former intern at our local wine bar here in North Park. All I gotta say is I am so thankful for the awesome referral! The first time I met Jerleen I felt as though I was meeting one half of myself. We goofed around, laughed, discussed photography and wedding plans and had just a few glasses of wine together. The added bonus is that she literally lives around the corner from us so I often get to see her around the neighborhood walking her dog. Meeting with her was an instant match for me but ultimately the decision of booking was up to her and James. So yes, I was over the moon when she told me she wanted to book. The official wedding celebration with friends and family is coming up in June. What you are about to see is this perfect little courthouse ceremony followed by their engagement session. I can not say enough good things about these two as a couple and as subjects for me to shoot. The rain the first half of this year in San Diego had been heavy and we actually rescheduled this session a few times. It got to the point that we just knew we couldn’t dodge the rain so the date was booked. My wonderful friend and neighbor Yukimi agreed to come along with me as my assistant in case I needed her to hold an umbrella over me to shoot in the rain. She also surprised them with a gorgeous handmade boutonniere and bouquet made entirely of succulents from her own backyard. James also surprised Jerleen with a handmade bouquet of his own which is just about the sweetest thing ever. I am sure it’s no surprise to anyone that reads this blog that I was a ball of nerves before this shoot. I wanted it to be spectacular and I also wanted to not get myself and all my equipment soaking wet in the event of a torrential downpour. We’ve had quite a few of them in…

This was my last session from the 2018 holiday season. Playing catch up on my blog has left me feeling similar to how I felt when I shot this session, grateful to have work but ready for a break. I was especially appreciative this day because I can always count on this family to show up on time. I’m not a huge stickler for time when it comes to waiting for clients but it does irk me when I have to stand around waiting. It makes me feel like my time isn’t valuable but on the other hand I always remind myself that I have an awesome job and if waiting around is the worst part of my day then at least I get to do it on a gorgeous day sitting outside! This whole family embodies a fun, kind hearted sweetness about them. I met mom and dad back when they booked me to shoot their intimate wedding ceremony in Carlsbad. While they no longer live in the San Diego area, I still hear from them when they are in town and in need of photos. It’s good to know that I have been able to give them an experience they want to come back to time and time again. So here it is, my final family session of 2018!