Diary

Adventures in Spain & Greece and What Happens Next – European Travel Photography

Ever since my dad moved in I’ve been wondering what will happen to me, to him, to my life with my husband and beyond. Some days I get very sad about all of it. I’m sad because my dad’s health is in decline and because getting older is tough. I’m sad because instead of delighting in raising a family of my own, I am steadfast with my father knowing that one day will be our goodbye. I’m sad because while I live in this small world of everyday activities and errands, I have friends who I never see and friends who never call on me just to ask me how I’m doing. They all have excuses not to reach out because they all have families of their own but I guess that doesn’t necessarily make it okay. It’s just the way it is. I get bummed out about the whole thing and then other days it doesn’t bother me a bit. I tell myself it’s fine because I have everything I need right here. I have my husband, my dad, our dogs, my daily routine, my work and I even have my dad’s cat here to fill my time. Those days are the easy days for me. I wish for those days every time my head starts to hurt and my neck and shoulders tense up from stress. My husband and I were always the ones reaching out to plan get togethers with friends and family but I have reached the point of exhaustion and I no longer care to here the word no more often than not when we do try to plan something. I miss all the things about being surrounded by everyone I know and love. I miss knowing that I could call a friend at a moment’s notice and swing by to say hello. I even feel angry sometimes that all my friends with families of their own seem to forget that there will always be a pang of sadness inside me when I see them with their families. I am not writing all of this stuff to bum anyone out. My words are only musings that form in the in between moments of the day when the world gets quiet and I start to think too much. My inner self is a worrier. My outer self is a dynamic goof ball hell bent on having…

I am a dog person through and through. I have had a dog in my life since I was very young and even after the heartbreak of losing our Rusty and Sophie, we continue to have dogs in our lives. After Sophie died I resolved to just have one dog, one very weird dog we named Griffey which was very hard to accept in some ways. Griffey is sweet and he does have a gentleness to him but we surmise he was abused quite a bit living on the streets in Baja and unfortunately he is filled with anxiety in most situations outside our home. A hard pill to swallow when our two previous dogs followed us around the house, slept next to us on the couch as we watched tv and always greeted guests at our front door with a tail wag. I could do a whole blog about all of Griffey’s quirks but you get the idea. We were down in Baja back in January at Pretty Horses Ranch just south of Rosarito. I knew the owner, our friend Krystal had rescued a few puppies just before Christmas and other than seeing photos of them online and thinking they were totally cute, I didn’t think much of adopting one. That is until we were there and I saw them. By the time we came for a visit there was only one left up for adoption and she was the runt of the litter. Brave, adorable and loving with a big, fat puppy belly and then I held her and she fell asleep in my arms. I remembered what it was like to hold Rusty when he was just a little guy and how I used to carry him around on my arm everywhere. It made me think about Sophie and how she would do her groans as she got comfortable snuggled up next to you. I thought about Griffey and how even though I love him for the good dog he is that I also needed a sweet snuggle puppy in my life. I held her in my arms and squealed to Jesse that I wanted to take her home. All the while in the back of my mind wondering if it would be a big mistake. Jesse is always great. He was in from the moment I said I wanted her but he also knows me and…

Look who is finally blogging sessions for the year of 2019! I wanted to start off my 2019 work with this adorable couple and their engagement session. So here’s the quick backstory: Jerleen found me through a good friend who just also happened to be an intern working with my husband years ago. We would occasionally run into said friend and former intern at our local wine bar here in North Park. All I gotta say is I am so thankful for the awesome referral! The first time I met Jerleen I felt as though I was meeting one half of myself. We goofed around, laughed, discussed photography and wedding plans and had just a few glasses of wine together. The added bonus is that she literally lives around the corner from us so I often get to see her around the neighborhood walking her dog. Meeting with her was an instant match for me but ultimately the decision of booking was up to her and James. So yes, I was over the moon when she told me she wanted to book. The official wedding celebration with friends and family is coming up in June. What you are about to see is this perfect little courthouse ceremony followed by their engagement session. I can not say enough good things about these two as a couple and as subjects for me to shoot. The rain the first half of this year in San Diego had been heavy and we actually rescheduled this session a few times. It got to the point that we just knew we couldn’t dodge the rain so the date was booked. My wonderful friend and neighbor Yukimi agreed to come along with me as my assistant in case I needed her to hold an umbrella over me to shoot in the rain. She also surprised them with a gorgeous handmade boutonniere and bouquet made entirely of succulents from her own backyard. James also surprised Jerleen with a handmade bouquet of his own which is just about the sweetest thing ever. I am sure it’s no surprise to anyone that reads this blog that I was a ball of nerves before this shoot. I wanted it to be spectacular and I also wanted to not get myself and all my equipment soaking wet in the event of a torrential downpour. We’ve had quite a few of them in…

This was my last session from the 2018 holiday season. Playing catch up on my blog has left me feeling similar to how I felt when I shot this session, grateful to have work but ready for a break. I was especially appreciative this day because I can always count on this family to show up on time. I’m not a huge stickler for time when it comes to waiting for clients but it does irk me when I have to stand around waiting. It makes me feel like my time isn’t valuable but on the other hand I always remind myself that I have an awesome job and if waiting around is the worst part of my day then at least I get to do it on a gorgeous day sitting outside! This whole family embodies a fun, kind hearted sweetness about them. I met mom and dad back when they booked me to shoot their intimate wedding ceremony in Carlsbad. While they no longer live in the San Diego area, I still hear from them when they are in town and in need of photos. It’s good to know that I have been able to give them an experience they want to come back to time and time again. So here it is, my final family session of 2018!

Looking at these photos is bittersweet for me. Matt and Elena have been dear friends of ours for years. Just days after this session, they packed up the rest of their belongings and moved their family to Guam for the next three years. Of course the girls got together about a week before for dinner, drinks and what ended up being a late night full of laughter ending in tearful goodbyes. I may not have tons of girlfriends but the ones I have are amazing and precious. Elena is one of them and I hope I get to keep her for a good long time. I hear her laugh as I look at these photos again. Matt’s giggle is there too mixed with his unending knowledge for all things historic and native plant related. Emerson’s high pitched scream that could drive a mom to drink is there and just thinking about it makes me want to laugh because what can you do?! Nolan and his sweet nature and easy smile are something I wish I could have known more of before they left and I only hope that when and if they come back to San Diego I can somehow be part of his life. My dear friends, you are so far away but loved even more than you can imagine. Life is weird how it winds and pushes us but I am so fortunate to have our separate lives meet on that path. I’m crying typing this so I’m going to stop and remind you that I love you, I miss you and we will see one another again. Much love to you. My hope is that while you are on this crazy island adventure that your life is full of sunshine, delicious fruit, gorgeous sunsets and no typhoons.

I have known these two for years. I first met them through mutual friends and even though we didn’t always run in the same circles, I always enjoyed their company. I had the honor back in 2012 to photograph their wedding in Washington state. It’s been a gift over the years to continue providing photos for these two. It had been quite some time since I had last seen Jen when she contacted me to do this session. I was blown away by how gorgeous she looked on this day. She was wearing an absolute perfect dress for the occasion and both she and her baby bump were glowing. Johnny is always so sweet and loving with Jen and on several occasions as I was shooting he would just look at her and remind her how beautiful she looked. I share a common experience with these two concerning dogs. Jen and Johnny lost their beloved dog Buddy about 6 months or so before I lost my love doggy Rusty. Naturally dog lovers always end up with another dog despite the pain and sadness of losing one. After meeting their new dog Della, I am sure we STILL share a similar experience but now it’s because we both have silly, skittish dogs. My Griffey is our beautiful weirdo and Della is their little ball of cute nerves. She spent half the shoot happily following me around and the other half wanting me to back away. Too close, too close! I get it girl! I respect your need for space. Please enjoy these gorgeous photos of Jen, Johnny and their little Della.

As you can probably guess Bird Park is one of my go to spots for family sessions. It just a lovely little park not far from where I live, parking is always easy and the view of downtown is amazing. I was pleasantly surprised to find that mom and dad were both familiar with the park because at one time in their lives, before kids, they lived in University Heights. Clients get turned around a bit when it’s their first time to this park so it was great not to have to worry about that factor with this family. Booking this session was pure luck for me. I meet Andrea when I was at her house with a close friend of mine. Andrea is a rep for the most amazing company that sells children’s books. Of course I ended up buying a ton of books for my two nephews. A new client of mine who is also friends with my friend who had brought me to Andrea’s was also there. I had just done her family session the day before and she was giving tons of positive feedback about the experience. I am always so grateful for positive word of mouth but in the back of my mind I am always thinking that a potential new client may not even think twice about contacting me. You can imagine my excitement to book this family session! I really hope this family loves their photos and will be in touch as the years go by. There is a big part of me that remains a realist about booking new clients sessions. That part of me always tells myself this could be a one time thing and I may never hear from them again but I truly hope that I was able to create a fun experience for them and they feel they MUST come back to me again and again.

Okay folks, officially making this my last blog post catch up of the day. This family came to me from a very good client of mine. They were gifted the session and I spent a lot of time arranging a day and time that worked best for them. As you can see they have their hands full so we made several date changes to find the right one. Not to mention that we also had to make a last minute location change the day of their session because of December Nights in Balboa Park which I conveniently forgot about as I was driving to Balboa Park. This family is the definition of flexible! And how about the wardrobe choice?!!! So perfect in every way! Take note people, this is how you coordinate clothing for a session. I am keeping it short and sweet because I am lacking a witty story or commentary for this session. It’s only because I’m over blogging for today. Not because I didn’t enjoy this family. They were fabulous. Happy children and happy parents, I can’t complain.

This was a fun little last minute family session I did back in December. I know, December looks amazing when you have sun and sand as your backdrop. Working with children has taught me one thing about timing. Basically when working with children, we sometimes have to work with their nap and eating schedule to get the optimal happy time for them. So for this session we headed out to the beach about and 90 minutes or so before sunset. It is always a challenge to shoot when the sun is a little higher in the sky but I have learned over the years to embrace it and just go with it. Sometimes all you really need is willing subjects and a happy baby to make for some great photos. So that is exactly what we did!

Forgive me if I keep this post brief. My life is in complete frustration today as I navigate through all the difficulties of caring for my father and his dementia. I look at these photos and think how much joy this family must experience having children in their lives. I’m sure there’s great frustration too but I like to think the smiles come much easier for them than they do for me on days like this one. I am grateful to have new clients and new families to photograph. I am grateful for the beauty in diversity and to experience the love shared between family members. I also like that they brought their dogs! This is all I want to do with my life. I just want to keep shooting, keep meeting families and keep creating a little piece of something fun that makes for a great memory when they look back on the photos. I hope that I was able to do this for Alexa and her family.